“How many bands start a “heavy” song with a Samba? How many shamelessly wear capes, or jumpsuits, or western shirts with tassels while turning the joke to poke fun at the audience; and any aspect of said audience they might have the unfortunate privilege of knowing? Not enough for sure, and not many at all from my observation. That being said, its clear to everyone (even here in the widely diverse melting-pot that is the Houston music/art scene) that Funeral Horse is an oddity. No matter what venue, what crowd or what corner of the world they’re in – this holds true, and audiences are often left stunned in both the best and worst ways (the two reactions not necessarily mutually exclusive.) At the end of their sets, like it or hate it, they all walk away asking “what the FUCK was that?””

-Whitney A., Noth Zine


“It’s grittiness, a slight but detectable noise rock edge forced through a space rock filter, is what makes this so engaging and gives Funeral Horse an identity of their own. They have stepped up and released an album to hold aloft. As the bagpipes lead out the final track Gifts of Opium and Myrrh it feels like a fitting send off, a salute to a fantastic piece of work.”

– Pete R., NineHertz (UK)


“If judged on the merit of riffs alone, Texan tarnation masters Funeral Horse would be a holy grail of hard-rock. The constant shifts from road-rage solos to dusty blues riffs to pavement cracking noise-rock/hardcore to vintage 70s hard rock backed by a walloping rhythm section will keep you guessing and ducking for cover as to which direction the bombardment is coming from next. With band members lovingly named Paul Bearer (vocals/guitars) and Jason Andy Argonauts (bass), the entire project has the recipe for sheer global conquest via tongue-in-cheek humor laced into a serious, non-nonsense rock foundation.”

Jay S., Teeth of the Divine


“Anyone who wants more from their stoner rock than chewed repetitions of a sound we heard countless times before can advantageously turn to the upcoming album from Funeral Horse. Where many others in the constant flow of riff-based rock band for a life in the absence of their own creative initiatives, these Houston-based men refreshingly disrespectful of genre boundaries and preconceptions about how it “should” sound.”

-Maria V. D. Lee, Slave State Magazine (Sweden)


“Make no mistake, Funeral Horse specializes in the heavy. Muscular yet energetic with a caustic guitar tone and agitated, low-mixed vocals; along the way atmospheres of psychedelia are interspersed with tribal bombast […] the result alternating between moments of building tension and explosions of bruising power.”

– Joseph N., The Vinyl District


“Gifts of Opium and Myrrh” brings that end sooner than I imagine many listeners will want, as the album feels like just a quick tour of the wild animals and wide vistas available to be put on display by the band at just a handful of minutes past half an hour. Of course, that will keep those ears eager for the next release, and busy soaking up the fuzz and grit from this one in the mean-time, so it’s hard to feel too put-off by the brevity. A twisting feedback stretch to bridge the way (laid to rest with a burst of instrumentation that works best as a surprise) helps ease the journey’s end, leaving first-timers to sit back and reflect on what an unusual one it was.”

-Gabriel R., The Burning Beard


“The scintillating doom character hearty Divinity For The Wicked is successfully ornate dynamically stoner elements and tough heavy rock nuggets, which combined with weak punk and post-hardcore irregularities of emerging Funeral Horse gives us an extremely heavy sound that proto metal vagrancy and macho in every note. In short, we are dealing with both rich and balanced and robust heavy sound, which I suppose that will satisfy classic doom sound lovers and lovers of modern stoner music, since the explosive Divinity For The Wicked of Funeral Horse standing on the verge heavy rock future and past. Beautiful.”

-Lyk H., Phantasmagoria (Greece)